The following is part of a reflection that I wrote for a class in Personal and Social Ethics that I am taking at Emory University…

The three dimensional matrix demonstrated by the “tinker toy” model has certainly given me pause as I try to establish where I fit within the matrix.  From a political perspective, as shown on the vertical plane, I self identify to the far left.  On the vertical plane of denominational hierarchy, I am a local pastor, treasurer of the district ministers association, and a member of the Board of Buildings and Locations.  That places me not quite at the bottom, but on the lower end of the spectrum.  The third axis to determine where I fit in the modern to postmodern spectrum is the most difficult one for me to figure out.  I tend to be highly skeptical of what is perceived to be truth and certainty.  My BS meter is pretty sensitive and I prize authenticity above correctness.  I tend to search for grey amidst a worldview that seemingly demands black or white answers.  However, I do hold fast to the idea of an Ultimate Truth that is found in Christ and Christ’s revelation of the God of creation.  So, I guess that I will place my self somewhat to the postmodern side of the plane.

The rub in all of this self-identification, though, is that these points are not fixed.  They change as my life experience changes, as I become aware of new facts, as I interact with others, believers and non-believers alike, and they can change in response to specific situations at specific points of time.  They can also change depending upon where I happen to be in my understanding of God, my relationship to God, and my relationship to God’s people.  Does this make me “wishy-washy” in my views?  No, I believe that it makes me human and that it makes me true to myself and not just some arbitrary sets of rules and regulations that offer no flexibility and through which there is no place for grace.

Within the denomination, I shun the activism at both ends of the spectrum as I try to hold fast to the middle ground.  I believe that we do the Gospel a disservice when we are so dogmatic and rigid in our positions that we lose sight of the fact that we are dealing with people who are made in the image of God.  In a blog post that I read this week, Dr David F. Watson of United Theological Seminary questioned whether we were living in a time of “cultural cold war” in our nation and in the church as well.[1]  As the polarization becomes more pronounced, it is my hope that the voices of moderation, of which I feel I am one, would not be drowned out.

In light of Wesley’s sermon, “Catholic Spirit,” I believe that it is incumbent upon us to strive for the via media in all things.  We should hold fast to the values that strike at the heart of Christianity, but we should let grace abound and “think and let think” on those things that do not.  I admire Adam Hamilton and Mike Slaughter’s attempt at General Conference 2012 to amend the stance on homosexuality as stated in the Discipline to admit that we United Methodists are not of one mind on this issue and on others.  I despair that we cannot agree that we are in disagreement on these issues.  Dean Snyder, senior pastor at Foundry United Methodist Church, used to have a blog entitled “Untied Methodist.”  Unfortunately, I believe that we are becoming more untied than united.  With that in mind, I do wonder, if a split were to occur, what would this liberal, evangelical do and where would I go?  Would I stay with a more conservative church as a liberal voice in a place that would probably respect my status as a local pastor?  Or, would I choose to be a moderate to conservative voice in a more liberal church that would probably discount my calling as a local pastor?  Not an easy place to be.  So, I will continue to love God, love neighbor, and proclaim the Gospel as best I can.  I can do no other.